Sexuality as communication for a peaceful world

Last year I‘ve got the chance to give a workshop entitled

,Sexuality as communication for a peaceful world‘.

I began by asking the participants what their first response was, when they heard this title.

I‘m also interested very much in your first response, when you‘ve read the title.

What body sensations do you notice?

What feelings and moods do you perceive?

And what kind of thoughts come up?

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The word ,sexuality‘ touches most people in one way or another,

whether in a joyful and exciting way,

a scaring or embarrassing way,

or all at the same time or even quite a different way.

For you as an adult sexuality is a part of your life.

Is it a part that is fulfilling and satisfying for you?

Or rather frustrating, even full of despair?

However you experience your sexuality at the moment,

it is important to be aware of how you feel about it,

for awareness brings us the freedom of self-determination with regard to sexuality.

And what does sexuality have to do with world peace?

I will give you two examples of a kind of behaviour which can be observed in sexuality, too.

A war veteran said that as young soldiers they vomited in the bush

after they had to shoot at civilians.

They gradually got accustomed to it and carried out their duty without feeling sick any more.

Not so long ago I saw a video

in which workers treated cattle living in unworthy conditions in a very savage way.

In my eyes sexual abuse or violence is due to the same lack of feeling of the partner of interaction.

How else coud a human being look into the eyes of another person or animal and cause harm?

Could you look into the eyes of a baby chicken and put it into a shredder?

I could do that only if I was disconnected to my feelings.

In a sexual encounter I can really connect with my partner only if I am relaxed, open and soft.

In this state I can feel myself and also my partner.

Then I can be as I really am,

I don’t have to pretend anything,

I feel seen and accepted.

And to relax and to open, I need security and trust.

If I was afraid that my partner might look critically at my body or my behaviour,

it would be harder to do so.

Also if I still carry a hurt in me,

I would be on gard and tense.

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That’s why it is so important to be in conversation with my partner

and to feel and release so-called unpleasant feelings.

When I feel myself and my partner,

I am loving from my inside in sexual encounters,

I am mindful in general

to myself,

towards people around me

and all sentient beings

and the earth as a whole,

and I can contribute to a peaceful coexistence in the world.

Mari Sawada